Beyond OK

 

In light of the upcoming ‘R U OK?’ Day on September 9th, I thought I would share what I learned about this awe-inspiring day. I first heard of this day in 2019, shortly after my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer and at the same time I was discovered with a medical condition that would take three months to diagnose. In the meanwhile, I was forbidden to travel, which put an end to my travel arrangements to see my mother for what might be the last time. It was devastating to say the least. That year I had many phone calls from wonderful friends on ‘R U OK?’ Day. While I was very grateful and moved by the care and concern of so many friends who reached out to me, I actually had no knowledge of what that day was all about. A few months later, after my mum had passed away, I decided to do some research and what I discovered has been a truly inspiring story worthy of sharing. A story of unimaginable strength and courage, born from both pain and love, a relentless drive amidst the battles of ill health, and the power in three simple words.

Founder Gavin Larkin, lost his father to suicide in 1995 and while he himself was a very successful advertising and marketing business partner, he felt incomplete. He uses the words ‘feeling empty and black inside’ even though the outside world told him he had everything, a successful career, a strong and loving relationship and a beautiful family. He was described as a  ‘big man who was larger than life when he walked into a room’.   Fearing he would end up like his father, he decided to confide in a close friend who suggested a self-improvement communications course, which would prove to change his life. As part of the course he was required to develop a project that not only inspired him but also would require him to extend himself in a way in order to benefit the community.  He chose suicide prevention. And so the journey began.

 While having the drive and passion for such a cause is inspiring enough, he and his family’s journey was both moving and humbling as I navigated through my own journey of life’s ups and downs. A year after the first ‘R U OK?’ Day in 2009, Gavin was diagnosed with stage four lymphoma, but if that was not devastating enough for the family, three months later, their teenage son, would be diagnosed with terminal brain cancer! What I found most powerful in his interview featured in An Australian Story was when he said “You can ask why me, why me, but then… Why not me? We are no more or less special than anyone else. Life is random and that is what makes it so wonderful… you just have to cop the good with the bad.’ He believed that all we’ve got is the journey and decided to make his, a good one. Gavin passed away in 2011, a week after his third successful R U OK? Day. His son died two year later. His wife continues to support the campaign and their teenage daughter does public speaking for the initiative. “He was probably unaware that what he began would ultimately see his family through the toughest times,” his wife Maryanne said, “while that time of year is hard for all of us, we are beyond ok.”

 What resonates with me from this story is that life, undoubtedly a journey, is definitely unpredictable or ‘random’. The pandemic validates that. It is the random and unpredictable that makes life either wonderful and exciting or fearful and painful. So ultimately, to make the journey a good one, the only worthy choice is to cop the good with the bad.